its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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