and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
