Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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