saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
