I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize