would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
