You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
