It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I want to fling myself into the sun
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
