the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
