Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
