Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
