I haven't been this sober since birth.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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