I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
