before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
