I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
