we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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