My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
