I wish I could teleport
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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