this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
