so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
