So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
