I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
