I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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