I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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