We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
