Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
