whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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