Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
