Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
