Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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