Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
