SEEEEXXX PLEASE
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
