The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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