either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize