Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
