who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
