It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
