oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
