I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
