No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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