How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
