i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize