No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
