it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
