On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize