Christians are straight up FREAKS
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize