I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
