I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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