Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
