Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you guys were way drunker than both of me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
this is an emotional support booty call
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize