btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
