The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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