Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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