Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
