Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
