Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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