the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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