your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
