the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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