just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
