I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Even my vagina gasped.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
