some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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