Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize