i think my tv is drunk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
