You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
